Everybody parodied the ad but the only one that stuck with me was the one I coined myself. "Lord Save Me From Theophane."

Despite fervent prayers to the contrary Sister Mary Theophane, Order of Saint Francis, and I inhabited sixth grade at Saint Scholastica’s Roman Catholic elementary school, together, at the very same time, second floor, southwest corner, no air conditioning. Sister Theophane was old and hard and she had expectations, one of which was that we not be distracted by our environment. These expectations were the first I became aware of other than my parent's who of course didn’t count for much at the time. I was eleven and already had my own agenda.

It was a glorious early spring afternoon. Sister Theophane had passed out home work assignments early and given us a chance to get started on the work in class, a rare and wonderful treat to be cherished.

I had completed the assigned work and commenced some serious daydreaming.

"MISSSSter McCormick."